The High Pressure World of Orthodox Jewish Dating

Of all the mysterious statements in the Talmud, one of the best known says that finding a true partner in life is as difficult as parting the Red Sea. In the world of Orthodox Judaism, where family is second to God alone, people are always working to part the seas so men and women can get married, fulfill the commandment to multiply and ensure the faith for another generation. As the father of a recent bride put it: “Matchmaking is the favorite indoor sport of Jews. Whether they are professionals using computers, a yeshiva rabbi intimate with all the qualities and quirks of his students, or Aunt Malkie who just happens to know a nice boy from a good family, somebody is always trying to fix people up. Certain Hasidic families in the United States still choose mates for their sons and daughters as they did in 18th-century Poland. Before Orthodox Jews get to the wedding canopy, they must navigate a dating process governed by religious laws and customs that most of society would find unthinkable, beginning with informal but detailed checks of family, character and health. One young man just starting to date has kept a recent surgery secret so as not to hurt his chances of finding a wife. The way the Orthodox see it, the average American does more homework deciding to buy a car than choosing a spouse. The Orthodox divorce rate, estimated at about 5 percent, suggests they do their homework well.

Marriage on Their Minds

The couple, who married four days earlier, sit side-by-side at the kitchen table in their new Harlem apartment. Rain slides down the window overlooking a courtyard of snaking vines that makes the place feel far from the hustle and bustle of New York City. Navigating this paradigm while chasing a film career supplied a gold mine of artistic fodder for a web series shedding light on a group that rarely gets screen time. The comedic web series, which launched in , follows six single Orthodox Jews in their 20s as they navigate the New York dating circuit.

Gottfried grew up attending Orthodox schools in Flatbush, Brooklyn.

Orthodox Jewish community attempt to find spouses but are unsuccessful. Singles utilize a range of support systems, including social events, online dating​.

In Orthodox Jewish circles, dating is limited to the search for a marriage partner. Both sides usually the parents, close relatives or friends of the persons, and the singles themselves, involved make inquiries about the prospective partner, e. A shidduch often begins with a recommendation from family members, friends or others who see matchmaking as a mitzvah , or commandment. Some engage in it as a profession and charge a fee for their services.

Usually a professional matchmaker is called a shadchan , but anyone who makes a shidduch is considered the shadchan for it. After the match has been proposed, the prospective partners meet a number of times to gain a sense of whether they are right for one another. The number of dates prior to announcing an engagement may vary by community.

In some, the dating continues several months. In stricter communities, the couple may decide a few days after originally meeting with each other. Also the age when shidduchim start may vary by community. In frum circles, especially among Hassidim , eighteen is the age when shidduchim start and shadchanim take notice. Those who support marriage by shidduch believe that it complies with traditional Judaism ‘s outlook on Tzniut , modest behaviour in relations between men and women, [1] [4] and prevents promiscuity.

It may also be helpful in small Jewish communities where meeting prospective marriage partners is limited, and this gives them access to a broader spectrum of potential candidates. If the shidduch works out then the couple inform the shadchan of its success.

How to Date a Jewish Man

Now in its second season, the ongoing YouTube series with its next episode slated for January has had more than a million views, each episode garnering between ,, Soon By You zeroes in on the lives of Modern Orthodox, New York-based millennials grappling with friendships, family dramas and, most centrally, marriageable, and sometimes not-so-marriageable, partners. Think Friends now celebrating its 25th anniversary , if the main characters were religious Jews setting their sights on landing mates in a culture that puts a premium on getting married—sooner rather than later.

Soon By You is the translation of a Yiddish expression frequently uttered to single women and their parents by well-intentioned and often irritating friends and relatives at Jewish weddings. Loosely inspired by the Israeli television series Srugim , Soon By You is the first American show dealing with the complex, contradictory world of Modern Orthodoxy, says Gottfried.

site features a wealth of information about events for Jewish singles in the greater New York area. – This shidduch/dating service for Orthodox.

Inspired by millennia of tradition and guided by the eternal teachings of the Torah , Jewish communities have developed a unique pattern of courtship and dating. The process is goal-oriented, beautiful and respectful. Read more. I am 69, but look like I am in my late 30s due to Organic living. I’m new here Anyone suggest jewish matchmakers? What is the minimum age for a girl??

Can we make it simple, Jewish gentleman seeks eligible nice Jewish girl. Such Wisdom Spoken from Learned Rabbi’s! Todah Rabah!

New JSwipe Study: Singles love Jewish holidays and want to marry Jewish

All Text Images Audio Video. Advanced Search Help. Cite Export Share Print Email. Selected item. The culture of dating and single life in the modern Orthodox Jewish community.

ShidduchLine, a new service to help Orthodox Jews make love connections, posted unauthorized profiles of hundreds of singles, exposing.

My husband’s father and mother are Jews. My parents are both what Mr. Hitler would be pleased to call ‘Aryan’ Germans. I am an American-born girl, and the first to defend my Americanism in an argument; yet so strong are family ties, and the memory of a happy thirteen-month sojourn in the Vaterland a few years ago, that I frequently find myself trying to see things from the Nazis’ point of view and to find excuses for the things they do—to the dismay of our liberal-minded friends and the hurt confusion of my husband.

Here we are then, Ben and I, a Jew and a German-American, married for four years, supremely happy, with a three-year-old son who has his father’s quick brown eyes and my yellow hair. Ours was a fervent love match, made more fervent by the fact that we had to wait in secret for two years until Ben earned enough at his profession to support a family. He had known other girls and, as I was twenty-five before we married, I had had my share of other men’s attention.

Consequently our marriage was not the hasty, impassioned leap of two people soaring on the Icarian wings of a first love. That which was between us was calm as the night, deep as the sea; in the light of it we both knew that forever afterwards he would look upon other women, and I upon other men, as pale wraiths. We determined that no obstacle should prevent our union, and obstacles there were a-plenty as soon as our families learned our intention.

Married to a Jew, you will be barred from certain circles. They can say what they like about Germany, but democratic America is far from wholeheartedly accepting the Jews.

Orthodox Millennial Couple Creates App ‘For Serious Daters Only’

Jewish dating apps like JDate have amassed over a million members around the world. Skip navigation! Story from Jewish American Heritage Month. Rebecca Linde. Why is May different from all other months?

forJe is a dating app for Jews serious about marriage – not just looking for ‘hook-​ups’.

We use cookies and other tracking technologies to improve your browsing experience on our site, show personalized content and targeted ads, analyze site traffic, and understand where our audiences come from. To learn more or opt-out, read our Cookie Policy. I thought parental disapproval of marriage was a problem of the past. I was wrong. You have us. But not 24 hours after our little engagement banner flickered across Facebook, the celebratory comments were edged out by a hysterical phone call.

To the family? She had, apparently, already been flooded with calls herself — even accosted at the grocery store — in their modern Orthodox Jewish community in New Jersey. It was the long-lost love of her life from 40 years ago, who had left her instead of marrying her because his Jewish mother threatened to disown him. I saw you at a club last weekend.

The New Republic

In fact, growing up in her Orthodox Jewish community, trying to lose weight was as routine as any other ritual. While Sara, now 25, says pressure to diet and lose weight came from various family members, the emphasis on being thin seemed to stem from a deeper, core obligation in the Orthodox community: getting married. According to the Pew Research Center , 68 percent of Orthodox Jews and 75 percent of Haredi the most traditionally observant Jews in America marry at the age of 24 or younger, compared to 33 percent of the overall population of Jewish Americans.

Data on eating disorders within the Jewish community, and especially the Orthodox community, is nearly impossible to find. A New York Times report cited an unpublished study of an Orthodox high school in Brooklyn, where eating disorders among girls in the school were reported to be about 50 percent higher than the national rate at the time. The Times also pointed to a study of students in Toronto, which found 25 percent of Jewish Canadian girls aged 13 to 20 suffered from clinically diagnosable eating disorders, compared to 18 percent of non-Jewish Canadian girls in the study sample.

Rather than seeking the shidduch date arranged by parents or close friends, modern Orthodox men and women who move out of the parental.

By Melissa Klein. A new service to help Orthodox Jews make love connections posted unauthorized profiles of hundreds of singles, exposing their private information to would-be suitors. Platt is among those who took to Facebook to complain about the security breach, which was even reported to a religious court. Orthodox singles seeking a partner often give their profiles — known as a shidduch resume — to friends or respected matchmakers who might have a prospect for them.

The profiles are expected to be kept discreet and not shared with a wide audience. Sternbuch blamed the data breach on matchmakers inadvertently uploading dating profiles from their personal databases and said they had now been deleted. Sternbuch, who also uses the name Naftali Zuckerberg, refused to tell The Post anything about his background or even his age. Read Next.

Dating & Marriage Advice : Jewish Dating